The Legend of Africania-- The Story of My Life

Long time ago in the land of Africa, there was a man named Uhuru who was given the task by the Sun and the Earth to take care of the animals and the land around him. He took this task very seriously for he loved the land and everything it provided. Because of this, the Sun and the Earth decided to reward him by giving him their daughter as a wife. Her name was Africania. She was very graceful, with a beautiful, slender physique. Her skin was as black as ebony, and her hair was curly and spring the because of the rain. She was the not only beautiful in body, but also in mind and spirit. Like Uhuru, she also loved the land and enjoyed caring for. She also enjoyed singing, dancing, and enjoying life. Because of their labors, Africa for rushed with every type of fruit and vegetable, as well as every type of tree and animal.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the East, there lived an evil man called Takata. He had no true enjoyment for life and only cared about himself. When he heard about the beauty and riches to be found in Africa, he decided that he will want all of those for himself. Therefore, he traveled to Africa and was first greeted by Uhuru. Uhuru, who noticed Takata's presence when he felt a sudden cold breeze, asked him what he wanted. Takata lied to him and said that he was a weary traveler and needed to rest for a while. Uhuru, who had a very welcoming attitude, gave them a place to rest and brought him food and drink. When he had rested, Takata thanked Uhuru and gave him a gift of a fruit from his land. He left out one detail about this fruit; it had a powerful drug within it. Uhuru, never being given reason to not trust anyone, accepted for fruit and ate it, and then he fell into a deep sleep. While Uhuru was asleep, Takata then began tearing apart the land, cutting trees, stealing crops, and killing animals for their hides, tusks, their or just for the fun of it as he was completing his destruction, he saw the beautiful maiden Africania watching in horror. Believing her to be the most prized jewel of all Africa, he put shackles and chains on her and forced her to come back with him to his homeland.

When they arrived at his homeland, Takata put Africania into a shack with a large mill and forced her to turn twigs and branches into gold coins. Every night, when he came to collect the coins she had made, she would beg him for her freedom. He told her that he could not free for because everyone would know that she is not from his land because of her black skin. In order to convince him to set her free, she made a paste in order to make her skin look like his. She then asked him again for freedom, only for him to say that he could not free her because her hair was different from everyone else in his land.  in response, she made a chemical to put into her hair to straighten it. The next night, as could be expected, she asked for her freedom again, but Takata said that her enjoyment for dancing and singing, and her love of life, was much more than that of his people, so they would know that different from them. She therefore decided to mimic her master's mannerisms, style, and diet. After a while, she looked and behaved like everyone in Takata's land, to the point where she could no longer recognize herself or remember her origins. So Takata unshackled her and decided that she was ready to be free. As she left the shack, she noticed that her way was blocked by strong vines.  even when she was able to push one way, another one would appear or grab at her. She then realized that no matter how hard she tried and no matter how much she changed yourself, while she was no longer Takata's slave, she still was not free. As a result, she just walked back to the same shack that she was so desperate to get out of.

Meanwhile back in Africa, Uhuru woke up from the powerful drug after hundreds of years to notice that his homeland had been severely ravaged. He also noticed that his beautiful wife had been kidnapped, so in order to rescue her, he followed Takata's footsteps back to his land in the East. When he had learned that his beautiful Africania was trapped in the shack in the forest, he tried to get through the vines that in trapped her, but they lashed at him as well, so he went back to Africa and returned with the rich soil of his land, which he used to fill the sink holes that contributed to keeping Africania imprisoned. He then began to pull up all of the vines by its roots, starting with the largest one. Every time he uprooted a vine, Africania remembered something about herself and was able to rediscover her identity. As a result, she cleaned off for white paste from her skin, she washed the straightening chemical out of her hair, and she was able to recall the purity of her land and  her history. The second she completely rediscovered herself, all of the vines that Uhuru tried to pull out vanished.

Seeing that all of the vines were gone and that her beloved Uhuru had come to rescue her, Africania ran out of the shack and through the forest, not turning back until she was at last free!

This was a story I read in my school library when I was a little boy. I never really knew what the story was about even though I knew about slavery and the Civil Rights Movement. Being the nerd that I have always been, I would insist that Takata did not sound like a European name a and that he did not come from the east but rather the North and the West. Though I thought the story was inspirational of the child, I forgot completely about this book by Dorothy Robinson until a few years ago, when I realized that, all along, the story was about me; I am Africania.

Ever since I was a young child, I was always told to be proud of my heritage.  I remember one day when I was in third grade, we learned about the Civil Rights Movement, about how we as African-Americans staged a sit in, the freedom rides, and the protests even though we had water hoses sprayed on us and angry dogs set loose on us. Our Euro-American teacher and told the a classroom of us young African-Americans that we should be proud of what we accomplished and the heritage that we share. Then, after school, I was on the bus going home. I looked out the window at what was then my neighborhood, in the heart of Austin of the west side of Chicago. I saw lawn that have not been mowed, with knee-high weeds. I saw mounds of litter on every street corner and in front of every store. I saw people walking around with their hair uncombed, yelling and screaming at each other. I saw young men lounging on Street corners, drinking 40 ounce bottles of malt liquor concealed in paper bags and talking smack while they could've been doing something more constructive. Even at that young age of nine, I thought to myself, "Martin Luther King gave us freedom, and look at we are doing with it."

I guess that is where the Megillah of my life of ethnic confusion and shame began. I began to study my people, and become the opposite of everything I thought was wrong with the people in my community. I would see people slouching, who I would always sit up straight. I would see people wearing sport jerseys and backwards hat, so I would always wear formal but not sure, but not cardigans (which I admit I still like today), and for a while, I would not even wear gym shoes. I would notice my people using inappropriate grammar and calling it a dialect full words like ain't, finna, gon', as well as many double negatives and slurred words. As a result, I would say words like are not, is not, or am not, as well as about to, going to, and I would avoid double negatives like the plague, and I would use complete and proper pronunciation for my words. In fact, I don't think I've ever used the word ax as a verb (You know what I'm talking about!). In my senior year of high school, I had discovered a hair treatment technique called texturizing, which is very similar to old-fashioned processing for me, this was the best thing since frozen pizza, and I had my hair texturized as often as I could, to the dismay of my poor mother. As a result of my efforts to try to single-handedly fix what I thought was wrong with the community, I often would be harassed and ridiculed in high school and sometimes in college by African-American students. They would then call me names like sellout or Uncle Tom. My mother's friends would either respectfully thank me when I corrected their grammar or they would look at me indignantly in the face and repeat the inappropriate term. All of this only compounded the ethnic shame I felt. As a result, I would back away from African-American students and received the friendship of the Euro-American and Latino individuals who accepted me. I did not plan it that way, but that's how it turned out, with the exception of a few African-Americans similar to me.

I remember when I was a junior at North Park University. I had gotten a certificate for an awards ceremony for maintaining a high GPA. As I was unaware of their even being an awards ceremony sense I did not see it advertised, I asked the friends I had made who were all White if they knew of any awards ceremony. When they were marked knowing nothing about it either, I did some research, only to find out that it was a ceremony from the African-American Society of the University, and that awards were only given to African American students I was the so offended by this that I took the certificate and ripped it up. I then marched to the professor who was the faculty advisor of the club with and demanded that my name be removed from the rosters.

And then, after an editorial I wrote in the university's newspaper about an issue going on at the time that caused the African-American and Latino groups to cry discrimination, which I thought was unnecessary whining and race card playing, I was accosted by students who belonged to the same organizations. I was eating lunch, and one man decided to sit down without being invited, and then a group of students literally surrounded me as I was being interrogated about why I wrote what I wrote. They then said that I knew nothing what was going on because I was a commuter student. One Latino student even went as far as to call me a racist. On the other hand, I noticed some White students stopping me in the hall to shake my hand and tell me how much we appreciated my article. Some of these students I had never really talked to before. Again, this experience further reinforced my ethnic confusion and ethnic shame.

The more experiences I had like this, the more I would isolate myself from African-American and even members of my own family, something I have truly regretted. There was a time when I literally became the protagonist in the movie Precious, particularly in the scene where, as she is dressing and doing her hair for school, she looks in the mirror, and instead of seeing herself, she would see a slender White girl with long blonde hair and blue eyes. To take it a step forward, if one were to look at pictures I drew as a child, whenever I drew myself, I never drew myself as Black. When I first learned that I had some Native American in my blood, I'm overjoyed and I told as many people as I could. I did this even more when I found out that I was part Irish and that I even had some German in me. I would eagerly tell everyone how many Native American nations I came from and how much I knew about Irish culture. One time a professor responded, while the class was listening, "now tell me about your African heritage. Do you know what countries in Africa your ancestors are from?" He knew as plain as day that I had no idea at that time where my African ancestors were from. He merely asked me in order to prove a point, that he believes that the worst part about the slave trade was that it took our heritage and identity from us. While I do not think this was the worst thing about it, it certainly comes close. The worst part about the African Slave Trade was how many people died because of it; at least the third of all of the Africans brought on those ships through the middle passage died, and many of those who survived died either by being overworked, tortured, or because they simply gave up once their loved ones were sold away from them.

Returning to my supposed assimilation, I thought that the more I assimilated, the safer I would be from the crooked cops and the supremacists, and the more I would prosper as a patriotic citizen of America. As a result, I always dressed and spoke appropriately, I attended church regularly, and I still do, I became the first in my family to get a bachelors degree, and then the first to get a Masters degree, I tried to befriend people of all different nationalities and cultures, and I did not even think of dating until I had finished school and started my career. I thought that by doing everything right, everything would go my way and that I would be completely accepted by those of equal education and values, as well as in the workforce.

Unfortunately, I was wrong. When I needed to get an internship for my social work degree, I noticed that while the female Euro-American students in my class would get in internship after the second or third interview, it took me up to eight interviews to finally get an internship. Nevermind the fact that I had a perfect GPA and much passion for the field. For some reason, even though I came to every interview professionally dressed and more than prepared, I had the worst time getting an internship within a field that is supposed to be very liberal, and one that is always talking about how they need more male minority social workers. I then noticed that, while there were some female students of European extraction who performed it just as well or less slightly well as I did in grad school, many of them had gotten jobs with then 3 to 5 months after graduating and after only 3 to 4 interviews, while I, a student with the perfect GPA, who always led group projects, who belonged to Phi Theta Kappa national honor society and Golden Key international honor society, and to already had one and a half years of work experience in the field had to go on 14 interviews in one and a half years after graduation in order to get the job I have now.

I also noticed on the bus that I once offered a White woman a seat on a crowded bus, only for her to refuse it even after her boyfriend encouraged her to sit down, only for her to sit down 10 minutes later next to an elderly White woman. I noticed that, when I would politely hold the door to the elevator for a White woman, she would position herself to thank me, only to see what I am and face the front with a cold disposition. I noticed how there would be people staring at me when I go to a restaurant in a Euro-American neighborhood. Finally, I noticed how a pastor of a previous congregation would preach about racial tolerance and equality under God, only for him to allow a Euro-American congregant to verbally abuse me because he came from an influential family and owns a business that the church would do business with.

After all of these incidents, I finally realized that, while the offending parties did not see me as a blog or a hoodrat, they saw me as a child at least and as they passed at most. They did not see me as being equal, but as being either a token, a dancing bear, or an exception to the race. Hence, while I was not a threat to most, I was still unwelcome. At this epiphany, there was no brother or sister I could turn to as I drove them all away.

This was when I had my reawakening. I realized that my desperate attempts to assimilate and be accepted were all for naught. As a result, I knew it was time to return to my roots. Therefore, I bought myself a kufi and a dashiki. I also began studying the history and culture of the West African nations, and I became enlightened by how powerful we once were and much more educated and civilized than we as African-Americans had been led to believe. Contrary to popular belief, we did not all go running around in our birthday suits; we were the originators of tie-dye clothing, and we made it very beautiful and elegant colorful clothing. We even showed the world how to design and color cloth by using fermented clay. We started universities, we had empires, such as the Ashanti Empire, and we've had a rich history surrounding music, dancing, storytelling, and less brutal warfare tactics. Along with Native American cooking, our fruits, vegetables, and even cooking techniques have been of great influence in the United States, especially the Deep South, as well as Europe and even parts of Asia. For example, my best friend, who is from India, once made me a delicious curry dish using okra – an African fruit. (Yes, okra is a fruit; it has seeds after all.)

Even after learning all of these things, something was still missing. I had no idea what nations might African ancestors were from. Therefore, earlier this year, I took a DNA test through Ancestry.com. After weeks of analysis, I finally knew. 67% of my entire bloodline is from Western and West – Central Africa, with most of my African ancestors coming from Cameroon, the two Congo nations, Senegal, and Ghana, respective in percentage. I also learned that 31% of my bloodline came from Europe, with 3% Irish and 24% from Great Britain (most of this likely coming from Scotland). I did notice to shocks from the test results. First, contrary to what I was taught, the test did not pick up any Native American DNA, which could mean that the DNA traces were far too small to be noticed or that I was never Native American after all. Second, they noticed that 2% of my DNA is from Central Asia. Considering the fact that I was told that someone on my father's side came from Romania, this leads me to believe that that this 2% could be Romani.

Though I was disappointed that I did not have  any signs of Native American blood in me, I felt a certain peace come over me that I never felt before in my life. Alex Haley probably felt the same way when he met his relatives in the village of Juffire in the Gambia. I had finally unlocked a part of my identity, and I felt as if I knew more about myself finally. However, as I am a proud nerd, I have been wanting to know more about my cultures. The first step I took was writing to the Cameroonian Embassy to request information about my heritage, such as food and clothing, but they have yet to write me back after over four months. Next, I found a store in Calumet Heights that sells West African clothing and accessories. The man who owned the store, Kayra Imports, was very welcoming and open to showing me the type of clothing the people of my cultures would wear. He then told me that eventually I would need to visit the motherland myself. Now, I am learning how to make different types of foods from Cameroon and West Central Africa, such as peanut soup and fou-fou, which is the a very thick starch paste from grains, plantain, or cassava. The paste is then rolled into balls and served with peanut soup or any dish with vegetables or meat. It is far too bland to be eaten by itself.

While I am now proud of my African American, Cameroonian, Congolese, and Senegalese cultures, they do not define myself completely. I am not going to pull a Halle Berry and completely reject the other 33% of my bloodline – even though being part European have not gained me any acceptance in America. I am not going to be bitter; after all, I have not too many of the experiences that I often hear about or read about in the news. I have never been denied service at a store or restaurant. I have never been pulled over, frisked, or arrested by police for a DWB. I have never been the victim of a hate crime, and the only Euro-American to call me at nigger listened to too much Hip-Hop, and he genuinely apologized when he saw that I was offended.

No matter how much of my identity I am aware of and how much I am proud of my heritage, not race, I am still myself. While I recognize that there are some big itself there, as well as discrimination in the workforce, and no matter how strongly I believe that African-Americans need to own more businesses, besides hair salons, barbershops, and liquor stores, I still know and appreciate the fact that there are plenty of good White people. After all, a White school teacher gave me the extra attention I needed in grade school. A White principal and an Italian – Armenian high school teacher recognized and encouraged my knack for writing. A White pastor helped me convert to Lutheranism. An Italian supervisor treated me like a son and gave me spiritual guidance. An Italian – Lithuanian – Ashkenazi Jewish Roman Catholic married me, and a White, mostly German congregation has genuinely nourished my talents and interests, and provided me healing from the wounds of my previous congregation.

Hence, no matter what pain one has felt in one's own culture or other cultures, it is wrong the two denigrate the entire group because then you will be closing yourself off from the good people of that same culture you are condemning. It is even more dangerous to isolate yourself from your own people due to your own values and ideals. Otherwise, like Africania, you may think that you have found freedom, only to realize that you are still a slave – a slave in your mind and heart. As for me, I am finally free and at home.

They'll know you're a Christian by your love—A Parody

You treat people like roaches, you treat people like tools

You treat people like roaches, you treat people like tools

And you think you're the Savior to protect the church from “fools”

But they'll know you're a Christian by your love, by your love

Yes, they'll know you're a Christian by your love.

You are cold to the visitors and rude to the flock

You are cold to the visitors and rude to the flock

And to those who will challenge you, you'll reprimand and balk

Yet they'll know you're a Christian by your love, by your love

Yes, they'll know you're a Christian by your love.

You'll berate the parishioners who don't look like you

You'll degrade the parishioners who don't think like you

You're a fraud and a hypocrite, but one day, you'll be through

Still they'll know you're a Christian by your love, by your love

Yes, they'll know you're a Christian by your love.

--Dedicated to all church hypocrites and those who let them run amok. 

Five legitimate reasons why people leave churches and how to stop them from leaving

Reason One: Favoritism

Favoritism can come in many ways. It could mean that people are treated better because of an elite status. Perhaps there is a congregant who is rich or donated time, services, or resources to the church more than anyone else. Another reason could be racism. For some reason, a church may have favoritism for one race or culture other over another or may discriminate against one group. Then there is family history. Let's face it: nearly every church is going to have that pair or half dozen families that have been there for generation after generation, and therefore are given much influence. Or, this could be the family of the pastor. For whatever reason, favoritism is wrong! James 2 says this specifically. Favoritism gives the church a bad name and threatens the harmony of the church.

If you see favoritism going on, the best thing to do is to not contribute to it, for starters, but also call it out as it is. If you notice that it's going on then, have the courage to confront the offenders and call them out on it, but in a gentle and loving way. If they still will not budge or will be offended, then take bring along a witness or take it to the rest of the church as outlined in Matthew 18. If after the church, aka the pastor, is involved and still nothing is done about the favoritism, then that person needs to be isolated in one way or the other according to 1 Corinthians 5,  for the sake of harmony sanctity of the church grounds and the church proper. If, for some reason, the church will do nothing about this, then it may be time for you to consider greener pastures. After all, at church is not truly a church unless it includes everyone and notes each person's contributions to be equally important and to value each person equally. This reminds me of an old African American joke: an African American man just moved to a town, and as soon as he settles, he starts looking for churches. He found a church that was huge and very beautiful. It has a spectacular choir which was much disciplined and used the best music, and they had a very educated and gifted pastor. When the man reached the top of the steps at the church and was about to enter the door, a group of ushers stopped him. They said, “You cannot enter.” Perplexed, the man asked, “Why?”  The ushers then said, “This church is for Whites only.” And they told him to leave. The next week, he tried again to enter the church, but different ushers told him to leave again. He tried to enter the church for about 2 more weeks. Finally, the last time he was asked to leave, he asked to speak to the pastor. The pastor then came outside to meet him. And the pastor said to him, “What is the problem?” The man said, “I just don't understand. I am a Christian a very devoted Christian, and all I wanted to do was worship here at your church. I just don't understand why I am not allowed to enter just because I am African American.” The pastor said simply, “Well, maybe you should go home and pray, asking Jesus why.” He then turned and went back to the church. And that was the last time he chose to try to visit that church. A few weeks later, the pastor was in town, and he saw the man leaving the grocery store. He remembered the man, and he was surprised that the man stopped trying to get into his church. So he walked over, and asked the man, “I'm just wondering, why did you stop trying to get into my church?” The man said, “Well, pastor, sir, I did what you said and I went home and prayed to Jesus about it” The pastor was intrigued. “Really?” The man said, “Yes, pastor, and Jesus answered me”. “Is that so? What did Jesus say?” The man smiled at the pastor and said “Well, the Lord told me, I have been having the same problems with you. I have been trying to get into that church since it first opened, and I haven't made it yet!” This story, while humorous, is a sad truth. The church that expects the Lord to enter should be welcoming. If reject a poor man, you are rejecting Jesus. If you reject a newcomer, you are rejecting Jesus. If you reject a person of color or a person of a specific disability, you are rejecting Jesus! 

Reason Two: Lack of Discipline

The second reason why people leave a church is because there is not enough discipline going on. I have seen way too much of this. We see it when the pastor's children are allowed to run wild because, since they are the pastor's children, they can do no wrong. We see it when a rich benefactor is allowed to mistreat people because of his contributions to the church. And, we see it when a pastor is allowed to do or say things that are against Scripture and that go against the body of Christ simply because he is the pastor. And a lot of this leads back to the first reason. Favoritism is a reason why a rich benefactor is allowed to get away with mistreating people is simply because he is used his resources for the betterment of the church building, or to fund certain programs. Also, it is the reason why a person is allowed to do as they please with or in the church--because of their influence because they belong to a specific family. And of course, there is racism, in which wrongs done against congregants of a racial minority are ignored. Just like that favoritism, not enough discipline in the church is wrong. 

Again, when you see this happening, you need to follow Matthew 18 if you see someone doing something wrong. They really need to be rebuked but in a friendly and gentle way. Well, you don't know that person's situation. You know they must be going through something very difficult. The thing is, Jesus called sin by its name when the prostitute was just about to be stoned by temple and synagogue leaders. He did not say that the prostitute had to sell her body because she was poor and had no husband. No, he said, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”. And when she was not stoned, Jesus told her, “Go and sin no more.” He did not say, “Oh, they were being intolerant or maybe they don't really understand you, or maybe they understand that even though you're rough around the edges you are a good person. No! He said to go and sin no more. That means, he was not excusing her sin but was instructing her on how to lead a moral life and to sin no more. Therefore, we should do the same. So, what if someone is rebuked with Christian love, but they refused to repent or make retribution? In that case, it is time to get the witnesses involved so that they could know that their sin has been noticed by more than one person and that there are others in the Christian community who want this person to come to repentance. If there were no witnesses, or if the person will not even listen to the witnesses, then again, it is time to get the church involved as Matthew 18 says. In most cases, in contemporary times, by church we mean the pastor. Meaning, the pastor must meet with this person and say what their sin is and encourage them to make retribution. Now, I know this is not an easy task, but it is the pastor’s job to do this! It is his job to make sure that those who are living in sin come to repentance and that both parties receive resolution and absolution so that there is Christian harmony. Therefore, a pastor's job is with the help of other church leaders, to keep the peace in the church. 

If the person after speaking to the pastor still refuses to repent, then as Matthew 18 says, it is time to treat this person as you would a tax collector. In other words, it is time to isolate the person from the rest of the community. And not in a cruel way but in a way to let them know that they are not living as a Christian should live, and this means they need some time apart to reflect and to realize what it truly means to be a Christian. In most cases, this means they will receive no communion lest they bring condemnation on themselves by defiling the elements. In other cases, it can also mean that this person will not be allowed to worship at the church in order to not disturb the other members. In either case, a person who openly refuses to repent needs to be shown discipline, and if they refuse to accept that discipline, they must be isolated from the community and not even be treated as a Christian. 

If for some reason a person is not by the pastor or the congregation if for some reason a person is not rebuked but the pastor or by the congregation but is allowed to continue to live in sin and to not and to not repent to the person they sinned against, then the pastor and maybe even the congregation shares in the sin that the person committed, and in fact, they are even more even more guilty of the sin because they refused to bring Christian harmony they refused to bring and they refused to fulfill James 2. 

Reason Three: Too Much Discipline

Then, there is too much discipline. Unfortunately, too much discipline can also go back to the first reason: favoritism. You see this when people who are poor,  people who are the racial or ethnic minority at the church, or people who are newcomers are given harsher discipline for smaller issues, yet those who are mainstream are not given get as harsher discipline than the situation warrants. For instance, if a person violates the commitment about bearing false witness against your neighbor, aka gossiping, is African American, poor, or  unconventional in lifestyle or hairstyle in a way that is not catastrophic,  yet the pastor of a congregation throws the proverbial book at them, then that's too much discipline. If a person who is a minority of the church—a political minority, if you will,  if you add class, race, and family history--has confessed and has made retribution, and yet they are still marked, meaning people refuse to forgive them and their sin is always thrown in their face, then that is too much discipline. 

Again, when you see this happening, be aware that this is also a threat to Christian harmony and an affront to the body of Christ. The way to handle this is to remind the offending parties (and when I say offending parties, I do not mean the person who is not being forgiven; I mean the person who will not forgive but judges) of Matthew 18 and which it says its a person repents then you then you are to forgive and you have won the brother over. Therefore, if a Christian confesses, repents, and tries to make resolution, yet you will not grand them true repentance, you are guilty of sinning against your brother (or sister) and Christ Himself.. Shame on those who do this! When you do this, you have to ask yourself, are you truly a Christian? Because a Christian truly understands what forgiveness means. The Scripture says, if you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven. Think about that one parable. To apply it to more modern terms, a peasant owed his king $1,000,000. The king brought him before him and said “You owe me a million dollars; pay up now!” The peasant said, “Please forgive me your highness, but I but I don't have the money now. Be patient with me, and I will pay you back. The king then felt pity on this man and decided to forgive the debt,  meaning he would no longer owe the  $1,000,000. Then one day, as the peasant is walking down the street, he ran into a fellow peasant who owed him $100. He then grabbed that fellow peasant by the throat and said, “You still owe me $100; pay me!” That second peasant said, “I don’t have the money now. Please be patient with me, and I'll pay you back.” But the first present would not listen. He had the second peasant arrested and thrown into prison until he could pay back the $100. When the other peasants heard this, they become very distressed, and they reported this to the king. The king summoned the first peasant and said, "You are ungrateful!" If I was so gracious enough to forgive you rather a large debt you owed me, why did didn't you forgive your servant for that he owed you? And then he said to his guards, “Take this worthless servant, and throw him into prison until he can pay back what he owes me!” This, then, is what will happen to those who will not forgive. These are not my words, friends! These are the words of our Savior, Jesus Christ! Therefore, if you have the audacity to throw a person's sins into his face, how can you expect Jesus to accept you as a brother or sister? How can you expect God to welcome you into His kingdom? How can you expect your sins to be forgiven?! Therefore, if you see someone getting too much discipline or is not being forgiven, then it is your duty as a Christian to go to that judgmental condemner, and warn them that it is their duty to forgive and to encourage forgiveness from others. 

However, if that church then becomes an environment of judgmentalism and lack of forgiveness, then you know you're no longer in a church. And then it is time to leave unfortunately. 

Reason Four: Change in Liturgy 

A very common reason why people leave a church would be the change in liturgy. This reason is both legitimate and illegitimate. Here's an example: a group of people goes to a church that has traditional, High-Church liturgy. They enjoy it, they are used to it, and they look forward to it every Sunday. And then, church leaders decide to satisfy the needs and requests of others--to do away with the traditional worship and bring a more contemporary worship such as gospel, heavy metal, or just praise music. They would be affected by this and want to keep traditional worship. They try to get their voice heard, but no one seems to listen. Leaving for this reason is kind of legitimate because it's something that someone is used to, especially if they have used it for the majority of their lives and find it difficult to change all the sudden. This change is even more difficult when they did not ask for it and when their input was not invited or appreciated. Some will leave a church over this. It's sad and sometimes unnecessary. 

To this I would say two things: one, go to those who want to make the changes, and suggest having two services so that both groups of people are satisfied. Usually those who want to make these changes are not trying to hurt anyone. They are doing this to satisfy the changing demographics of the church, or to satisfy the needs of those they're trying to bring into the church. While both of them are good reasons, the latter can be dangerous if not done properly. Yes, it is important to try to get in new people, but it should never be at the expense of those who already there. Therefore many churches thought they would get more members, only to receive fewer members or the same. This is because for every new member they receive they lose one or two old numbers. Therefore, it would be necessary to encourage leaders to have two services: one traditional, and one more contemporary. Another possibility would be to go to the unsatisfied members who are losing their favor their preferred service, and encourage them to be patient yet more vocal. It would also be necessary to encourage them to maybe learn more about the proposed liturgy that’s to take place. However, for something like this, there needs to be some sort of resolution between both parties. 

Reason Five: Unappreciated Talents. 

This reason means that a person feels that their gifts offered to the church are unappreciated. We see this in a few typical ways: one may come up with a gift or a set of ideas that are considered unusual for a small or more traditional church, or  if there's too much red tape for a large church. Let's start with the second one. When you are in a large church, you tend to have a lot of people with professional degrees for everything that they do. For instance, those who are on the board for church planning may  run businesses or are executives. Those who are in charge of music often have music degrees. Regardless we must remember that there is no such thing as a music degree in the Bible. Also, an MBA is not needed to present ideas or suggestions for running the church building or organizing a group. Remember that sometimes the best ideas do not come from formal education but by experience or the desire to learn. Then there are small church ideas. Sometimes the church culture makes it very difficult for change to happen. For instance, it its funny, but one of the most common sayings in the Lutheran Church is “We've always done it that way.” Even though it has always been done that way, as long as ideas that are affordable and the biblical are presented, it's a good idea to allow those to be suggested. Therefore, if you feel that your gifts are unappreciated, the best thing to do would be to continue to campaign your ideas and your heart. Also, if you see that there's someone in the church who is the political minority and has not been getting the attention they need with their ideas, make sure that this gets known. Try to campaign for them. Also, if something seems funny or new, just remember that it may not necessarily be bad. Try it out, and if it doesn't work at least you were open minded enough to try new things. 

But what if you still need to leave?

Even when you follow these techniques and  ideas, there unfortunately are still times when a person must leave the church for reasons other than moving. In my experience, you should follow 4 steps so that you can leave your church with dignity and in the love of God. 

If you have any positions at the church, resign immediately or as soon as you can. 

Start looking for new churches; spend time away from your current church in order to get to know these new churches so that you can find a prospective congregation. By this time, it should probably be at least a month since you stopped going to that stopped attending that original church. By this time, church leaders in a church that's not too large may begin to recognize your absence and become concerned, and they may reach out. If they do not reach out, or if their efforts are unsatisfactory to you, 

Start giving your tithes and offerings to your church of choice. Usually for the large churches, they may not always recognize you resigning your position or that you have not been coming to church, but ironically, they will notice when they're doing the books that you have not been giving money for a while. Unfortunately, as King Solomon once said, “Money answereth all things,” so churches are no exception. 

Finally, after a month or two of not giving any tithes or offerings, and no one seems to notice, or something too severe happened where you cannot stay, or reparations for any offenses against you have not been made, it's time for you to officially transfer your membership and send them a detailed letter. In this letter, you should state what happened, when it happened, who was involved, how it made you feel, what you expected to see, and how nothing satisfactory was done about it. This way you can show that you're not just making a rash decision, but it's been thought out at great length. For this, unless it's hard to find a church that fits your needs, I would say from the time you stopped attending church to the time you try to transfer your membership, it should be about 3 to 4 months. Hopefully, it should not come to this, but if enough people or at least if enough people of a certain demographic should stop coming to church, it send a message out to the community. 

Naturally, it is pointless and dangerous to even try looking for the perfect church, but there are still times when staying in a church is a danger to your soul because it is either lawless or legalistic, and the leadership is often too corrupt or weak to truly lead. Hopefully, before choosing that new church, you will remember the reasons why you left the old one. This will serve as a blueprint for what you need or will not tolerate from wherever you go. 

An Impending Holocaust: My Greatest Worry as an American.

Very often when I have heard the phrase, "Those who do not understand the past are doomed to repeat it," it has been in reference to not only war but the Holocaust. In the past 100 years, we have not needed Nazi Germany as an example of how far bigotry can go. Just look at the Leo Frank Lynching, the 1919 Red Summer Riots, the Tulsa Race Riot of 1921, the Rosewood Race Riot (Massacre) of 1923, the internment of Japanese and Italians in World War II, the UpStairs Lounge Massacre, and the post-9/11 hate crimes against Muslims, Arabs, and those who wear turbans. In fact, in the coming year, 2015, it will be the 100 year anniversary of the premiere of  the pro-KKK movie, "Birth of a Nation."

When we see any actions of genocide, one with a good heart will begin to talk about the importance of tolerance. However, what is truly tolerance? According to American Heritage Dictionary, tolerance means, " The capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs or practices of others." That means, one has the right to disagree with a person's beliefs and values, whilst following their own. Unfortunately, in a society that wants to be diverse in every way and to please those who are "minorities," tolerance is not enough. Now, we must placate such minorities, and those who cry "equal protection" are silenced and humiliated. As a result, such "minorities have the upper hand, and many use that power viciously. We see it when state Supreme Courts severely penalize Christian bakeries whose owners cannot, by conscience, sell wedding cakes to same-sex couples or when the creator of an internet browser is forced to resign because he donated money to Proposition 8 and a gay CEO of a dating site did not like it. We see it when atheist groups have students punished for praying in class, sic the ACLU on Christian towns for building a nativity scene or the Ten Commandments in public areas. We see it when some African Americans burn down their own communities as a cry for justice, yet a man who tells his mistress, in a private phone call, not to bring Blacks at his games, is socially and financially destroyed. We see it when students are suspended for wearing T-Shirts with American flags during Cinco de Mayo.

Those who justify these actions say that they are necessary because of the history of bigotry in America and to make sure everyone has a fair chance. I have noticed that some of the most committed PC liberals are White. I am probably putting words in their mouths, but I am certain that at the heart of their liberalism, there is guilt and shame for what their ancestors did. Whether they will admit it or not, I know they feel that by putting down their own culture, sexuality, and religion, they are making up for the wrongs said ancestors did. They would be very wrong. First, all of the sins that happened in the past against certain groups cannot be undone by a multitude of good intentions. They happened, and history cannot be re-written. If you burn down your wheat field, then all of your wheat will be destroyed, and all of  the profit is gone. However, after a season, the field can be re-tilled for a new crop. Second, political correctness and liberal fascism will only result in the resentment of the majority groups. When they become angry enough, they will organize and revolt, and this will only expose the minorities the liberals tried to protect to persecution, expulsion, and even genocide.  Just follow the diagram below.

Toleranceà Political Correctnessà Fascismà Revolutionà Nationalismà Persecution and/or Exterminationà Guiltà Tolerance

Surely, there are those who say that this can never happen--especially not in a country as "civilized" as America. If that is the case, then consider the following examples.

·         Since the early 20th Century, Germany was considered, especially under the Weimar Republic, to be a very sophisticated, cultured country. Liberal ideas flourished, and ethnic minorities felt very comfortable as Germans. Jews felt this way, and they were the most assimilated of the entire Diaspora. Until 1938, most Jews felt that there was no way the cultured Germans would open concentration camps or commit genocide. Obviously, they were wrong.

·         Speaking of Jews, they were, for the most part, very prized minorities in Poland since Kazimierz the Great welcomed them to the country in the 1300s. They became the mediators between the nobility and the serfdom, and only sects of the clergy disliked them. This all ended in 1795 when Russia took control, and Poland was no longer a country. Since then, there was growing intolerance towards Jews within the Polish communities, and some Poles even told their children to keep away from Jews lest they should be eaten by them. By the 20th Century, there was a newspaper published regularly called "Polska bez Zydow" or "Poland without Jews." By the 1930s, there were anti-Jewish riots in certain towns like Przytyk and Bielsko. Then, when the Nazis invaded Poland, while Poland is known for having the most people to rescue Jews, there were practically as many Poles who stood and laughed while they were being humiliated and tortured, some who denounced Jews, and even those who joined in the killing. If that were not enough, there were Poles in Sosnowiec and Kielce who killed Jews trying to return to their homes after the war.

·         When the British colonized Uganda, they brought laborers from India to work and to serve as a buffer between the British and the native Ugandans. Many of these Indians put the Ugandans in a cast below them because of their skin color and subjugation, and some became wealthy by exploiting the natives. When the British finally left, Idi Amin, the President of Uganda gained the support of the masses by taking property away from the Indians and expelling them from the country.

·         When the Belgians colonized Rwanda, they placed the Tutsi minority in a position higher than that of the Hutus because the Belgians liked that their skin was lighter than that of the Hutus, and their facial profile did not look as African. When the Belgians left, the Tutsis gained wealth and positions of power and influence. This angered the Hutus so much that they orchestrated one of the most instant and successful genocide attempts ever known.

Those who are still not convinced that violence against minorities is possible in "civilized nations" should be aware of the growing violence and increased conservative extremism in European countries. In Sweden, a country where "hate speech" is punishable by prison, the streets are not safe for a visible minority at night. I was once told that, should I choose to visit a major Swedish city, I should never walk the streets after dusk without an auxiliary police escort, or I might be attacked by a Neo-Nazi. If there were laws against violence and the people were given free speech, perhaps these hate crimes would be less of a problem. 

Also, let's not forget that violent acts excused by a great bulk of the majority are already occurring. So are hate crimes against African Americans. A few years ago in Jackson, MS decided to kill Blacks to relieve their boredom--even if their targets did nothing wrong. This year in Texas, an African American man was kidnapped and murdered without cause, and the local police called it a "drug overdose." George Zimmerman, the man accused of killing Trayvon Martin, is acquitted by a jury; he was not even convicted of manslaughter--which is what he was truly guilty of.  And then, all over the country this year, African American men are being killed by police--brazenly, in front of witnesses--only to not face charges. Worst of these cases was the killing of Eric Garner, who was suffocated to death by a choke hold that was no longer even allowed. Even though he surrendered and kept telling the officers that he could not breathe, the officers still would not release him from the hold. Except for the Jackson case, nearly all of the culprits received moral and financial support from the masses. It is like they believed that Zimmerman and the police officers were automatically right and Martin and the other men had gotten what they deserved. This is what we have come to. Now that the police force throughout the country, which has traditionally been the most effective tool of racism in this country, is being attacked by Blacks who are tired of the injustice, the bigots and even those who are on the fence are now being energized and justified in committing violence against Blacks. This is how the pogroms and genocides have begun--with "random" acts of violence.

If God forbid, a holocaust does return to America, I fear that many people who watch the news will feel justified in persecuting my people, as well as other groups.  After all, part of the reason why some people are clapping their hands when cops kill Black men is the fact that, when we are attacking waitresses at restaurants because we are unhappy because of the bill, when we are destroying our communities because the world is unfair, and when we give everyone in the world a front seat to our violent tendencies at Navy Pier, we are giving people the impression that we are unruly savages who have become a cancer to this nation. While the corrupt "leaders" and godless individuals will have brought this oppression on us, the greatest contributor will be the liberal White person. No offense, but it is true, particularly because this group will excuse and ignore the behavior of minorities just to prove a point. When African Americans were rioting in Ferguson, MO, some White liberals called these destructive cowards freedom fighters and called the riot and uprising. The more negative behavior they excuse, the more will come.  Just like in Nazi Germany, all it takes is three things for organized discrimination and genocide to occur--no matter how civilized they are: desperate and angry people, a charismatic leader, and a conflictual occurrence to exploit.

No matter how hateful things have become in America, there is still amply time to turn the tide. The best way to do this is to practice, on a national level, rule of the majority and protection of the minority. By this, I mean that it is time for the straight, White, Christian, citizen to put away all of his or her guilt. You cannot control what your ancestors did, and you cannot help being born in a country where you have certain "privilege," so it is unfair to be punished for what you cannot control.

On the other hand, refrain from condemning others for a "privilege" you may think someone else has because you just might have a privilege over them as well. For instance, a White feminist may be tempted to tell a Black man that he has "male privilege," but this idea is not only ludicrous; it is insulting.  The simple fact is, White privilege trumps male privilege any day of the week. Hence, if you must accuse anyone of having "privilege" over you, make absolutely certain you do not have privilege over them.

Additionally, no matter how oppressed a group of people may have been, don't sell out your rights or excuse any behavior of theirs. In the TV series Little Men from the 1990s, a schoolmistress continued to excuse the behavior of a Black student because his parents had suffered slavery. Because she felt sorry for him and would not discipline him, his behavior became worse and worse until it could no longer be ignored. The caretaker was able to knock some sense into her by warning her that not treating him like all the other boys, for whatever reason, is just as racist. If you want proof of the reality of this, just turn on the television. Blacks with no scruples have thanked these White liberals by robbing them, raping them, destroying their property, and doing many other things to make themselves the gangrene of society and forcing the rest of the country to view all African Americans as a barbaric threat. Who let the dogs out? The I-pray-the-world-will-forgive-me-for-being-born-White liberals! Furthermore, these same senseless Blacks will take anything and play the race card against it. They have nothing better to do with their time than to cry wolf when there is no wolf.  Unless things change very soon, the wolf will come, and no one will come running to rescue us.

With this in mind, I turn to those who consider themselves minorities, whether they are Black, Asian, Jewish, Muslim, agnostic, atheist, Satanist, immigrant, gay, bisexual, or transgendered. No matter how much you or your people have suffered, do not go around with the attitude that society owes you something. This means, do not trample on the freedoms and customs of others so that you can be recognized. The fact is, the majority of Americans are Christian, straight, citizens, and of European descent, and they have the de facto right to influence this country according to their values. Accept it. Be the acceptance you hope to receive from others. Be true to your own values and customs, as long as they are moral, and fight for your rights, but do not force the majority to kowtow to your way of life. If you do not want to assimilate or conform, fine, but leave people alone. Pick your battles and stop provoking people. On the other hand, take responsibility for your own group's problems. Don't waste your time being sour when an outsider points out your problems and when others "air dirty laundry" in public. You are not doing your people any favors by protecting the clowns within it. You are just making yourself another negative representative.

Also,  if you feel that you are getting the best of services at certain businesses, organize and start your own businesses. This is more noble and productive than destroying people who will not cater to your preferences. Before affirmative action, the African American community was very productive, owning a great chunk of businesses in their community. Their personal success and organization were so astounding that others envied us and tried to take away what we made for ourselves. We did not ask for special treatment and we did not ask lobby groups to force businesses to serve us. Instead, we took care of ourselves, and we eventually earned the respect of other people--people who marched with us in Washington and risked their own lives to join us on freedom buses. In the current state of African-American affairs, who would help us if Jim Crow came back tomorrow? Definitely not enough people to make a difference.

Finally, O dear perceived minorities, never force people to accept you; it will eventually have an adverse effect. People may fear you at first, because of your upper hand, but eventually they will resent you. There have been cases in which Christian bakers refused to make wedding cakes for same-sex couples but have offered other products to them. The offended parties sicced the ACLU and Right Wing Watch on them, and they suffered legal penalties, humiliation, and heavy harassment and persecution. They even received death threats. Instead of gaining acceptance, the LGBT community only gained resentment, fear, and hatred. If this country has another Matthew Sheppard incident, people will remember the ludicrous lawsuits against the bakers, as well as other incidents before they can feel the slightest twinge of sympathy for the victim and what he or she represents. What the gay couples could have done, instead of being vengeful, was draw up plans to open their own bakeries. If  there ever is a holocaust in this country, then my heart goes out to the gay community specifically because, with the legalization of same-sex marriage, all gay marriages under the law will be recorded in official records, making these individuals easy targets.

Surely what I have written is bound to make people angry. Of all the groups I mentioned, I have nothing against them personally. I have known people in each group who have been good to me. Still, one spoiled apple eventually ruins the others in the bushel if allowed to fester amongst them. If 2014 has taught me anything, it is that too many people are playing the victicrat in this country, and they are not taking responsibility over their own behavior. There are those in the mainstream, sadly, who do not put these victicrats in check because they feel sorry for them. All of this will backfire if not remedied. As this situation is getting worse, with the victicrats behaving like animals or spoiled children and the less tolerant factor in the mainstream becoming angrier at their communities being corrupted and their rights being taken away, my worry is that a holocaust is indeed coming within a generation's time. There is still time for us to do something about it, but will we?

Ten things you should never say to a Black man.

(Disclaimer: When I say Black, I mean those whose ancestors were brought to the USA to be slaves.)

You probably saw it coming since I declared my love and allegiance for my people. There are things I see on television or hear in mixed company that occasionally make me angry. I have especially heard some things during a time when I was the token or "good" Negro. There are some things that some people, not necessarily White, say that they don't know are offensive, but we brothers are offended by them all the same.

Here they are:

1. "Your mother is--"

Unless you are riding a person in the locker room, or on the front porch, or unless you are about to pay a complement, NEVER talk about a Black man's mother. His mother may be sweeter than peach cobbler, or maybe she always gave him the belt or even the 'stention cord, but no one gets a Black man's loyalty more than his mother. Insult her, and a civilized Black man will distance himself from you. A less civilized one will give you a new face, and the worst will bust a cap in your--

2. "Why can't you just pull yourself up by the bootstraps and make something of yourselves? We did, and we made it."

This statement usually comes from a person whose ancestors came from Southern, Central, or Eastern Europe. Some of these same people have a history of discrimination as well. Nevertheless, their oppression was nothing compared to what we experience. In fact, and I may be stepping on toes, but the discrimination these people faced can be equated to college hazing--some suffering a person must experience for a period before they can be accepted into the group. These individuals may have been dark, non-Protestant, and spoke a non-Teutonic language, but they were European and had a potential to become White or at least near-White. In fact, a few people of these groups have committed discrimination, and even hate crimes, to distance themselves from Blacks or to prove how White they are. No matter what a Black man does, he can never be considered anywhere close to White. Because of this, a Black man must work extra hard, be extra moral, and speak extra eloquently in order to get somewhere in America. Frederick O'Neal says it best in the movie Take a Giant Step: "A colored boy must be better than anyone else just to wind up as good as anyone else."

3. "What's up, nigga!"

Unless you are also a Black man, this statement will definitely offend a Black man.  In fact, you may be darker than Wesley Snipes, and some Blacks will still be angered by this statement. The same with any comment pertaining to dark color. It does not matter if you end the word with an a; we will respond the same way as if it ended with an r. There is nothing positive about this word--no matter who says it and why. Just don't say it.

4. "It's okay--My best friend/spouse/neighbor is Black."

This is sometimes related to the third taboo. First, you might or might not be down, but you don't have it like that. Second, how would they feel about what you are saying? Unless they are spineless or content being tokens, they would be just offended as me. You don't have to be down for us to like you. In fact, when you try too hard, you come across as patronizing or even mocking. Just be yourself.

5. "He had to have done something."

This is typically said when a Black man has been beaten or shot by a cop or civilian, but it is very insensitive. Believe it or not, there are racist cops out there who will attack or murder a Black man with little thought, no matter how obliging he may be or how respected he is. Remember how Dr. Henry Louis Gates was arrested and accused of breaking into his own home? This is why all Black men become nervous, even scared, when they are pulled over by cops. They never know if they will be confronted by a good cop or a Klansman in blue. And let's not forget the cop who broke a window over children and tasered a Black man who was not even resisting.

6. "As a Black person, what do you think of…"

Oh, so since I am Black,  I represent all of my people, and we all think the same? This is the no different than saying we look the same. Newsflash: we are individuals, and we have our own beliefs. Believe it or not, there are Black Republicans, Blacks who hate hip hop and soul music, and Blacks who thought Ojay Simpson was guilty. How would you feel if I said, "As a White person…" or "As an Asian person…"?

7. "That's so ghetto."

This comment is more elitist than it is racist. Ironically, celebrities have tried to snuff out the statement , "That's so gay," but "That's so ghetto" is untouched. What makes it so offensive is that it is often said by one who does not know what it is truly like to be so poor that you are forced to live in the slums. They have never been hassled by cops just for walking down the streets. They have never been humiliated enough to be forced to use food stamps. They never have been forced to choose between paying the light bill and paying the rent. They never found thrift store clothes to be a luxury. And, they can take evening walks without having to worry about being robbed, raped, or shot. Typically, they use this phrase to talk about things that are below their standards. The sad fact is, in the 21st Century, Blacks and Latinos are the people who are most likely to live in "ghettoes," so when you call something ghetto, you are latently, unintentional as it may be, stating that Blacks and Latinos are below your standards. So, you heard a Black person use the phrase too? Well, if they grew up in or around depressed urban areas, they have it like that. You don't.

8. "Why are you so sensitive? You are making something out of nothing."

It's nothing to you because you don't go through what we do. Maybe we are so sensitive because the rest of the world is so insensitive. What would happen to you if you sassed a cop? How many interviews does it take for you to get a job? When you do get the job, how confident are you that you had gotten it because of your potential and abilities and not the color of your skin? When do women hold onto their purses when you join them in the elevator? How much do people condemn your anger, as justified as it may be? I was warned once to never lose my temper in front of White people because even justified anger can be used against me in ludicrous ways. If I yell, I am considered a threat. Until you have lived a Black man's life for one week, you will never understand our fears and anxieties. A sociology professor of mine once took all of the White students in the hall and asked them how much money would it take for them to agree to become Black. While one person said, "I'll do it for free," others have asked for millions or billions of dollars, and there were those who said, "Not for all the money in the world." This should tell you something.

9. "You are a man; you have privilege over women."

Hello? Have you been freaking listening? Our being men almost never means anything, and to say this will really work a Black man up. Except for those who are rich, there is not one Black man who has privilege over women--even Black women. All women are more likely to be hired at a job than Black men. They are more likely to be respected, promoted, and supported. They are less likely to be shot by cops, and they can do the exact same crime as a Black man, but they will always get the lighter sentences. The only jobs Black men have privilege over women are those dealing with security or brawn. Besides, how many women, besides Black women, have been kidnapped and brought to this country as slaves or have been subjected to hate crimes? How many hate groups have been created to control and kill women? The fact is, all women have privilege over Black men in this country. Always have, and probably always will.

10. "Why don't you talk/act Black?"

This is often directed towards educated or affluent Black men. While the people who say these things usually don't mean any harm, it is an offensive stereotype that suggests that we are all the same, which brings us back to taboo six. It is very simple: a Black man who wants to get anywhere in America speaks proper English, dresses appropriately, and behaves with self-respect and common sense. While I often use Black expressions, I have no use for Ebonics and filthy language; these are for those who love being ignorant. Plus, it is those who behave the stereotypes who make things difficult for other Blacks. Attaching an ethnicity to a behavior puts everyone in corners, which kills chances for harmony and dialogue.

And now you know. People who know better should do better.