Bill Cosby, Ferguson Riots, and all that

I was not going to write a blog post about any of these news items. I kept telling myself in my head, "Curb your opinion on these; just watch and wait." But then, I shared a chart the other day about the simple fact, taken from National Review, that a Black person is more likely to be killed by another Black person than by any White cop. Then a woman from my church told me, "I can't believe we go to the same church and worship the same God." She then unfriended me. I sent her a private message to tell her how hurtful her public comments were, and I asked her to apologize, but she refused.  For more information about this chart and her comments, visit https://sites.google.com/site/ifyoucantagreeinsult/a, and download the file.

Now let's get down to business and play a little game called Bombshells, or as George Lopez would say it: "In the suburbs, it's called, 'You might want to sit down for this; it's a shocker.' In the hood, it's called, 'Oh, no you didn't!'"

I find the sexual assault cases against Bill Cosby and the Michael Brown affair/riots to be so intertwined, it is ridiculous. First, Michael Brown and the Ferguson riots. Do I believe Brown was wrongfully shot? Yes. According to witnesses, he was being shot at as he ran from Officer Wilson, and then he was shot when he turned around and put his hands in the air. First, even though I am not a police officer, I know that a person with no signs of a weapon is not a danger to the officer, so Wilson should have pursued him on foot and/or used a Taser. Second, the millisecond a suspect puts their hands in the air, there is no reason to shoot anymore, but it was Wilson's responsibility to direct him  onto the ground and to make no sudden moves. So, Brown was wrongfully shot. Keep this in mind in the next paragraphs.

Now, let's take a good look at the man whose name has been invoked during the Ferguson riots. Right before he was shot, there was filmed footage of him  stealing cigars. When the store owner tried to stop him, Brown shoved him away, and then loomed towards him in a threatening manner when he still pursued. Comparing Brown's build to that of the store owner, of course that store owner was not going to pursue him further. And then, even the witnesses noticed that there was a struggle after the Wilson told Brown to get off the streets, but he would not comply.

So, I see three things wrong with this picture. First, as we learned in kindergarten, stealing is wrong. For Brown to steal something as trivial and needless as cigars, he was obviously looking for trouble. Second, when Wilson told Brown to get off the street, he should have complied instead of talking back. Third, Brown should never, EVER have put himself in a position where he would "struggle" with any police officer. No reasonable person puts their hands on or runs from an officer. I was told at an early age to respect the police and obey the law. Plus, I was told to remember who I am: a Black person in a country that has historically and deliberately marginalized Black people. As such, I was to be polite and cooperative with any police officer at all times, but remember names and badge numbers if an officer had gotten out of line. To do anything else would be to give a police officer all the reason he or she would need to remove me from this world or at least batter me, and it would be my word against his or hers.  After all, when it comes to eradicating racism and discrimination in this country, the police force is one of the final frontiers. While many officers are good and true to their work, on some deserted road, there are only two witnesses: you and the officer.  When you are uncooperative with the police, you discredit yourself. If someone had taught Brown these things, maybe he would still be alive. Perhaps the reason why the jury decided not to indict Wilson is because they could only see Brown's danger to society and not Wilson's abuse of power.

Now for the rioters. There is nothing dumber and more counterproductive than burning down your own communities and stealing from your own people. As news reports have shown, many of the businesses looted and destroyed are Black owned. How cowardly can you get? I am against rioting and the violence it brings, but if these rioters had any courage, they would have left businesses in their communities alone, and they would have organized and methodically attacked the Ferguson police station or even the dissenting jurors. That is where the logic is missing, and this is what makes the rioting cowardly. While people insist that rioting is a demand for justice, all it does is make people justify the jury's decision.

And if you are going to riot over the manslaughter (or murder; I am still on the fence on what to call it), why are you going to commit violence and destruction over someone who shoplifts and provokes the police? Why is he your cause célèbre? Why not save your anger for an upstanding Black citizen who cooperates with police and is still abused? This is tragically similar to the Rodney King case. All the public saw in the video was Rodney King being beaten by four cops. No one remembers that King attacked the officers first. No one remembers that he was pulled over for reckless driving and DUI and that he was arrested again, for the same reasons, 2 weeks later.

Whenever I see the protests of police brutality on television, and when I see Blacks, Latinos, and liberal Whites protest killings of Black men by the police or by seemingly racist non-Blacks, I cannot help but wonder why these same people are not equally outraged by the dozens of Blacks being murdered by other Blacks in every major city in this country. Why does one Black man mean more to you than thousands of other Black men? What, is it easier to point to one White person with a gun than a multitude of problems degrading the Black community? But then, no one wants to talk about that. People are so busy being victicrats that they cannot deal with their own problems, and if any well-meaning person tries to bring this up, they are called racist, race traitors, or gay. (Yes, gay. Very mature.)

You are probably wondering when the heck I am going to get to Bill Cosby. The very things I am saying are but a mere echo of Bill Cosby's words as he states them in public or writes them so eloquently in his book "Come on, People." Many Black people are threatened by him and have tried to shut him up. When this did not work, and this is my theory, they paid women to accuse him of kidnapping, drugging, and sexual assault. I find it very convenient that, after "airing [Black] dirty laundry in public" for the umpteenth time, women are suddenly coming out of corners to make allegations against him that are almost 30 years old. While I have always been a strong advocate for victims of violent crimes, I stand by Cosby this time. I believe that he is completely innocent, no matter what my former classmate comedian, Hannibal Buress, says. I believe that this is nothing but a setup to silence and destroy Cosby for speaking the truth about problems in my community. The fact is, whenever there is a successful Black man, there will always be a person waiting for the opportunity to destroy him, whether it be Sambo from Uncle Tom's Cabin or Fannie Taylor from the Rosewood Massacre. With this is mind, if those women really were raped, why did it take them so long to come forward? I am sorry, but history and the media have proven that when a woman, especially one of European descent (sorry, but it is true), comes forward and accuses any Black man of a sexually-based offense, the public and the media immediately takes the side of the woman, and his entire career and life is kaput even before he is arrested. This is why I am convinced that Cosby is innocent. If those women came forward in the 1980s, the law would have thrown the book at him. Until solid evidence proves otherwise, I will stand by Cosby, though the heavens fall.

What is happening to Cosby and what happened to me with that former friend from church shows what happens when a Black man loves his people too much to keep the truth from them.  They are ostracized and condemned by their own. They are called Uncle Toms, Oreos, or house n*ggers, This is because the Ferguson rioters and those who hate to hear a Black person show tough love has a field slave mentality. Take a moment to look at the life of a field slave: he is forced to work from sunrise to sunset for the master, he is beaten for not working fast enough or because the overseer is bored, he sees his sister dragged into the woods by the master's son only to return no longer a virgin, and he feels inferior deep down inside. When the master decides to fire an abusive overseer or give a devoted slave a ham, he refuses to see the good in everyone. When a house slave who walks with dignity decides to spend time with his people, the field slave mocks him for having what he wants. When a field slave is punished for beating another field slave, all of the other field slaves either isolate him or beat him further, telling him "snitches get stitches."

The field slave, weary from his plight, can only see hatred for all things White and pain for their persecution. Because of this, another field slave who hates and feels pain too can do no wrong. Even when the evidence against a Black criminal is too strong, the field slaves stick together--even when they are wrong--and anyone who exposes their hypocrisies can just go to hell. Sadly, even though slavery legally ended in 1865, there are too many field slaves today lettting their emotions rule over them, while there have been slaves living free even before the Emancipation Proclamation. It does not matter if a document declares a person free and the chains have been removed from their wrists. Scripture teaches, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." In other words, if a people still think like slaves, they are slaves.

While they think they are protecting themselves, they are really destroying themselves and bringing shame on the whole Black community. At the rate we are going, there will be a time when true and overt racism will return, and even the most reasonable non-Black will turn his back on us. When this happens, Blacks and other minorities with vocal victicrats will find themselves suffering the same Holocaust the Jews did in World War II. Like it was for them, there will not be enough people to save us. People, this really scares me. I am scared for myself and for my people. Angry Blacks and guilt-driven Whites will unfriend me on Facebook for this, but Black people are our own worst enemy. This does not have to be. As Tulsa, Rosewood, The Harlem Renaissance, Pill Hill, and so many movements and communities have proven, Black people have remarkable power to provide for themselves and beautify themselves to the envy of groups. We have done it before, and we can do it again. All we need to do is stop playing the race card and take Black on Black crime more seriously. Statistics have repeatedly proven that, while there are plenty of trigger-happy cops out there (which is why I approve of requiring police to wear camcorders), if Officer Wilson were out of the picture, he would have been if far more danger of being killed by another Black person--particularly one of those rioting in his name.

Now, who is the bigger "race-traitor": those who expose problems in the Black community to save the souls of Black people, or those who denigrate those who speak the truth to save the hides of Black people?

For more information about Michael Brown and the Ferguson Riots, visit

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2725057/New-witnesses-claim-Michael-Brown-did-wrong-cop-shooting-Missouri.html'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=advkpZIuq2U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn-fnnMLjk0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Uf5mfE057E

http://www.dcclothesline.com/2014/11/25/hypocrites-ferguson-rioters-loot-destroy-black-owned-businesses/

For information about the Cosby allegations, visit

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2014/12/04/cosby-strikes-back-at-accuser-she-tried-to-extort-him/19907997/

To learn about Cosby's book, go to

http://www.amazon.com/Come-People-Path-Victims-Victors/dp/B001B2HIV0

While you are at it, learn more about Larry Elder's book:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Ten-Things-Cant-America/dp/0312284659

Being Thankful

On the way home from church today, I listened to a broadcast from Moody Radio. The pastor I listened to said, "Gratefulness is not an emotion--it is an action. True gratefulness is obedience to God." To take this further, those who are grateful for everything God has given them do not hesitate to show charity to others--even when the recipient is unworthy. Grateful Christians observe the Sabbath and do not allow errands, extra sleep, golf, the football game, or brunch with the girls to be more important than going to church and meditating on God's goodness. (For those who find church boring, don't go for the fun of it; go to listen to the Word and in obedience to God). Moreover, grateful Christians depend on Christ to be the only source of salvation and do not try to rewrite Scripture to justify their own indulgence.

Today, as I sat in church, I noticed that the pews were only half full. Where were the other Christians? Still asleep, even though it is God that allows them to wake up when they are ready? Cooking the Thanksgiving Dinner, even though it was God's providence that allowed them to have such an abundance of food? Or, were they getting ready for one America's most common idols: football? The fact that so few people thought to attend church today at my congregation and all over the country is proof that America is increasingly becoming godless, as they are putting their own personal interests against serving God. We have so many blessings, yet we are no longer grateful. We forget to thank God for the things we have. We prefer our individuality over obedience to our Creator. We complain over the little things; we lament there is no meat when there are more than enough vegetables to satisfy our appetites. I keep repeating what my mother told me once because it is true: "If you cannot thank God for what you have, why should He give you more?" This is become obvious with the moral and social decay that is plaguing our country.

Sadly, too many of us refuse to repent. As proof of this, there are those who call themselves Christians who will read this rant and call me intolerant, a religious fanatic, or that I am "entitled to my own opinion." Well, to be blunt, it is the "religious fanatics" who try hard to follow Christ's heart, and they will never surrender their salvation for what the world can provide. After all, the things that the world can give will perish and will lead me to everlasting damnation, but what Christ gives me is eternal and is for my own good. Only Christ could die to wash away my sins, and only He can give me everlasting forgiveness and life. For this, I am compelled and pleased to show Him my gratitude for the rest of my life. How about you?

A Person, Not a Token

Token, from South Park

Allow me to tell you a true story. 

An African-American woman and a man of European descent fall in love with each other. After a year or so of dating, they get married and move to another state. Then the trouble begins. She begins to notice that her husband takes offense to the neighborhoods she frequents and the friends she chooses. Whenever there are family gatherings on her side, he refused to attend. Then one day, it finally made sense to her. The neighborhoods she went to were safe and characteristic. The friends she chose were respectable and warm, and her family was loving and treated him well. The problem is, they were all Black, and to her horror, she realized that, while he loved her, he disliked Black people. Maybe it was her charisma or her sophistication, but she realized what many educated, open Blacks with White friends are often forced to realize; she was his Token Black--an exception to the rule, if you will. This realization damaged her deeply. After all, as she is a dignified Black woman, to dislike her people is to not truly love or respect her. Needless to say, she divorced him.

While this is an extreme example, it demonstrates the attitudes some people harbor against Blacks, whether they mean to or not. On the one hand, many people treat Blacks like mascots, and they try to "act Black" in order to be cool. Then there are all of the others who, out of misunderstanding or just plain racism, dislike or hate Blacks, yet like some individual Blacks. Either these are friends or celebrities. In fact, even some of the most bigoted people have that one decent Black. They live next to them and talk football over the fence. They work with them, hire them, invite (and parade) them to (at) barbecues, they adopt them, date them, and, as the illustration suggests, even marry them. Even the White supremacist David Duke reminisced of his childhood mammy (Black maid). Somehow, they are magically able to separate a person from his or her own people because they cannot find it in their hearts (or brains) to dislike him or her as well.

I reflect on my own experiences being both the mascot and the decent Black. A lot of this comes from a history and childhood of ethnic confusion and shame. Everyone kept telling me to be proud to be African-American, but I looked around me and could not find any reasons to be proud. I remember when I was 8 years old and had just learned about Dr. Martin Luther King. After school, when I was on the bus on my way home, I saw graffiti and litter all over Black neighborhoods. I saw Black guys sloppily dressed, Black women scantily dressed, and people fighting and throwing bottles at each other. On my block, I saw plenty of hardworking mothers and devoted grandmothers, but very few fathers. I remember saying, "So, Dr. King gave us freedom, and look at what we are doing with it." I guess that is where my ethnic shame began. It perpetuated in high school when I noticed that the boys who always bullied me were Black, while, for the most part, the White students either befriended me or left me alone. As a result, I kept my distance from Blacks, and most of my friends were White. 

When I befriended Whites and was in the White crowd, I have experienced many things and asked many questions--questions that I did not mind but would probably offend the average Black person. I have been asked why I don't act or talk "Black", A few people even thought I was English! Then, there have been those who asked for my opinion--as a Black person. Really, if I really spoke for most Blacks, then Blacks are against affirmative action and believed that OJ Simpson was guilty.Then there are those who have been inclined to vent about their experiences with me about other Blacks or, reversely, try to talk "Black" around me. Case in point, there was a fellow who went to my church who kept calling me "bro," and he really pursued me as a friend. Then, in mixed company, he insinuated that Whites were the superior race because they invented the wheel. Finally, there was a time in college when I wrote an article reprimanding Black students for playing the race card about a certain issue. For as many Black students coming to tongue lash me, there were White students coming over to applaud me. Most of these students I had never seen or talked to before. Those same White students did not sit down next to me at lunch. They did not invite me for coffee after school, and they did not invite me to their parties. In fact, in all of my years of high school, there was only one person who ever invited me to a party--a Black girl. 

Even though all the signs were there, I still did not pay attention because I wanted to convince myself that racism was only experienced by Black who did not respect themselves. The only times I began to realize that there was a problem were when I befriended a Jewish classmate named Jess, and when I looked for work after getting my MSW. She was all buddy-buddy with me for a while, but then, even when I visited her in the hospital, she kept cancelling meeting times and never invited me to see her non class friends. This is the same pattern I have noticed since I began college; a person talks about how great or interesting I am, they then play with me for a while, only to throw me away once they have proven to the world how "tolerant" they are or when they realize they cannot mold me into their image. This is why I have decided to never again let myself get too close to any friends. And then there was finding work. Ever since I started grad school, all I heard was how there was a great need for male, minority social workers. Well, someone forgot to tell the employers, because once I graduated from a top social work college, summa cum laude, White female classmates who worked only half as hard as I did were getting jobs much faster than me. Social Workers, dear friends, often brag that they belong to a field that is liberal and celebrates diversity. Why, then, did it take 14 interviews to get the job I have now, while the aforementioned classmates only had 3 or 4 interviews?

If there are any White people who have not become too offended yet, let me just say that I have known many Whites who have been genuine and respectful, and I thank all of you for that. As my mother has drilled into my head a million times, there is good and bad wherever you go. For those who are not sure if the few Black friends they have are token friends, ask yourselves these questions:

1. Would you be embarrassed to introduce these friends to your family?

2. Do you only talk to them when other Whites (in general) are not watching?

3. If it is safe, would you be comfortable socializing in your friend's neighborhood regularly?

4. Do you talk negatively or mockingly about Blacks, Black culture, or Black neighborhoods--to your friend or behind his or her back?

5. Do you often try to speak Ebonics or wear stereotypical "urban" clothing around your Black friends?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have token friends, and you may be struggling with racist tendencies. No one is perfect, and it is only human for people to place beneath them things they do not understand. I would strongly advise you to become educated about African-American history, culture, and social problems. Then, I would suggest that you consider the problems of your own cultures and the skeletons in your own ethnic closets. We all have the same desires and fears, and we all want to be happy and feel safe. Like most cultures around the world, African Americans cherish community. We love to eat, sing, dance, go to church, and share passions. We have traditions and value lineage. Yes, we have our problems, but before you dwell on our problems, just think of the stereotypes about your own people. How would you feel if someone made a mascot out of you or love you yet denigrate your people? Think about that, and you will know how I feel. Each ethnicity is a snapshot of beauty; why can't we stand together and create a collage?

  

A Dictionary of My Common Phrases

(To compare what I say with what I really mean)

"Okay."

1. Okay

2. I don't agree with you, but either I don't feel like arguing with you, I doubt you will fight fair, or I just want you to be quiet. Often followed by the person's name.

"I'm tired."

1. Give me time and space.

"I'm very tired."

1. Leave me alone…please.

I'm exhausted

(Refer to "I'm very tired.")

"Ayah!"

1. Shock or surprise

"Oy!"

1. Dismay

"Blimey!"

1. Frustrated

"Maybe…"

1. Probably yes.

"We'll see…"

1. Probably no

2. It's not up to me.

"Just a minute." (often accompanied with an erect pointer finger)

1. I need more time to do something.

2. I am trying to think, and your chatter is disturbing my thought process.

3. I can listen or I can do a task I am supposed to do, but I cannot do both. Take your pick. Task it is!

"Sure."

1. (If enthusiastic) Welcoming a given suggestion.

2. (If not enthusiastic) I don't believe you, but I would rather placate you than invite a long, exhausting discussion.

"I'm fine."

1. I really am fine.

2. I am not fine, but I don't feel like talking about it or I don't want to tell you what's wrong.

3. I don't know how I feel. Give me time and space to figure it out.

"I said I'm fine!"

1. You keep asking me what's wrong or if I am fine, and I am starting to get ticked off. Keep asking questions, and if I was fine, I will not longer be; if I were not fine, I will be worse.

"Whatever."

1. I will not discuss this further.

2. You are getting on my nerves.

"Lord, have mercy!"

1. (Lighter tone) I am suspecting a weird or mildly unpleasant occurrence.

2. (Intense tone) Very displeased; ready to punch a wall.

"You eat with that mouth?"

1. You have a filthy mouth; I hate vulgar language.

"That's all right."

1. I am content or impressed with something said, done, or planned.

"I know what time it is!"

1. I am being playful with your feigned adversity.

2. You have said or done something I disapprove of, but I am accepting it.

"That's enough."

1. I am starting to lose my patience with you. You would be wise to close your mouth and walk away.

Excuse me?

1. I did not hear you clearly.

2. You just said something ignorant or hurtful, and I am both encouraging you to make amends and challenging you to repeat what you said so that I can give you what for.

"I wish you would…"

1. You are about to say or do something uncouth, and I am informing you that I am wise to you. I am also encouraging you to change your course of action to prevent a proverbial thrashing.

Forest Park: Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen

Since I first moved to Forest Park on February 27, 2010, I have gathered many memories of my beloved town. However, as of this Saturday, I will no longer be a resident.  By the end of that day, I will be a Bridgeviewian. While leaving Forest Park will be sad, the neighborhood and apartment to whence I am moving will be worth it. 

These are the things about Forest Park I will miss the most:

·         Walking to church on Sundays.

·         Strolling down Madison Street on a summer day.

·         The fountain at Constitution Court.

·         LOUIE'S GRILL!!!!!!!

·         St. Patrick's Day Parade. Eirinn go bragh!

·         Being able to Facebook message the mayor, and expecting a response.

·         What used to be Molly Malone's--when it was run by Sandra and Margaret.

·         BROWN COW!!!!!!!

·         FAT DUCK!!!!!!!

·         The serenity of Circle Avenue.

·         In-law houses.

·         The fries at Parky's

·         COUNTER COFFEE!!!!!!! (Even though Team Blonde never responded to my email about starting a Poetry Night)

·         Walking down the street and waving to people I know (mostly from my church)

·         Ethnic diversity--and many multi-ethnic families.

·         Viewing the St. John steeple from my living room.

·         FOREST PARK REVIEW!!!!!!!

·         The fact that it truly is a place with big city access, yet small-town charm.

Now that I have gotten that out of the way, time to list the things about Forest Park I will NOT miss:

·         Litter on Des Plaines Avenue and sometimes on Madison Street.

·         The unsavory mudslinging of people like Marty S. when he was trying to cheapen our town by bringing machine gambling into it. (http://www.forestparkreview.com/News/Articles/3-28-2013/Forest-Park-bar-owners-ask-other-businesses-to-support-video-gambling/)

·         Uncivilized hoodrats from South Maywood and the West Side of Chicago ruining our town with their marijuana smoking, blasting music at midnight, and yelling at each other in their slurred, nasal, and often screeching voices, as if they need the entire world to know that Shaquata has a new weave or Marquell is not taking care of his responsibilities. Forest Park used to be a nicer, quieter town. But hey, no matter where good Black people go and place roots, the hoodrats always follow to ruin everything. Such people, I am sorry to say, justify White Flight. For these reasons, no matter how much I love Black people and enjoy being Black, I will no longer, if I can help it, live in a town or neighborhood that is more than 15% Black. That is because, the more Blacks live in an area, unless they are solidly middle or upper class, the more problems we will have with the ignorant ones without home training. Again, I love Black people to death, but I wish we could find a way to contain the hoodrats in the slums they have created for themselves until they can learn to behave. Booker  T. Washington was right. But I digress.

·         The declining ability of Forest Park police to keep the aforementioned hoodrats in line. Seriously, whatever happened to the iron fist? Case in point, where we live, there are two women who are associated with each other somehow. One person lives on the first floor, and the other one lives on the third floor, next to us. They have loud parties all the time, and they cannot use their inside voices. And at the middle of the night! I know hoodrats don't read, but can they at least read their leases?! The way they talk, it is as if they are trying to communicate between mountains. I have called the police a multitude of times.  They come out, they tell the individuals to be quiet, and then they leave. They are quiet for a while, but then they are loud again. They never learn! I went to file a report against my neighbor, but the officer suggested that it would be better if  I just kept calling the police when they disturb the police as this would force the property manager to take action or pay a fine. I kept doing this, but nothing changed. The closest thing they received to a reprimand was an officer saying, "Don't make me come back out here!" After all the complaints against them, they should have gotten tickets, but this never happened.  To make things worse, there was a particular officer who did not take me or his job seriously. If you want his name, send me a private message, but all I will say is that he looks like the late Paul Winnfield. The first time he came out, even though I have always tried to remain anonymous as hoodrats can be vindictive, he knocked on my door because "[he] could not hear anything." When the noise returned, he knocked on my noisy neighbor's door, and he asked her if he could come in. Soon, I heard them laughing. The second time, and the last time I called the police on anyone in the building, he knocked on my door again--for the same reason. Aren't the police supposed to get their hearing checked regularly? This time, the neighbor opened the door, and she finally knew that I had been reporting her. If anything happened to me or my property, it would have been this officer's fault. Perhaps he should take lessons on being discreet. After that, there were at least two other times when my neighbors have been loud, but I did not call the police. Why? Because I no longer trust Forest Park Police.

·         The town's inability to protect its residents from the unsavory practices of building owners. Two things have happened to prove this. First, there was a time when the building owner next to my Circle Avenue three-flat decided to redo the roof. He did not warn his neighbors of the work being done, and I had gotten a call from a neighbor, when I was getting ready for work, that the roofers were throwing damaged tile into the dumpster, but it was landing on my car. When I got out there, there was soot tile, and scratches all over my car! The workers did not even apologized; they just snickered. With the help of my landlord,  I was able to get the scratches out and my car cleaned. Then, in late October, my current property manager gave the residents of my complex only about 14 hours' notice to move our cars out of the spots that we pay for so that M&J Asphalt could pave new asphalt. He told me that they gave him the same amount of notice and that he would have to wait a month if he did not consent. Still, it was his duty to say, "This is unfair to my residents; we will take our business elsewhere." Instead, he just tells us that any cars left after 8AM the next day will be towed at owner's expense. But then at 7:25, I am told that these workers decided to start early, and I had 10 minutes to move my car. The work was supposed to take 2.5 days, but it ended up being a week because the workers did not come when they were supposed to and they did not, according to the property manager, answer their phones or return his messages. What kind of company is this? But getting back to the property manager, I could have been on vacation, only to find my car gone and needing to pay up to $1,000 to get it back--at no fault of my own. I complained to the mayor and village workers about this, and they told me that, while what happened was wrong, nothing could be done since there are no laws to force building owners to give sufficient notice to ascertain that the tenant's rights and property are protected. Why the heck not? I hate to say this, but we are in an age where we cannot depend on people to be civil and considerate. We need laws to protect the people. If there was a law on Forest Park's or Illinois' books, that building owner would have been required to warn me to move my car, with my landlord's permission, or pay a fine. My property manager would have been forced to either say no to M&J Asphalt or pay a fine. Laws that protect the people instill order and curb vigilantism.

If I have not lost you with all of my negative experiences, let me just say that my positive experiences outweigh them all. Leaving Forest Park has been and will be very hard for me, yet I will still be around on a regular basis as I intend to keep going to church at St. John.

In closing, my feelings about Forest Park are best summarized in what I hope will become the town song:

As I walk along old Madison Street

Or linger on the Grove

The beauty of this blessed town

Shines like a radiant trove

O Forest Park, O Forest Park

The place where I belong

Forever will you be my joy

Forever be my song

Your charming diners, cozy pubs

Boutiques and antique stores

But most of all, your friendly people

Fill my heart galore!

It matters not the winds of change

Nor whither I may roam

I’ll always love you, Forest Park

You’ll always be my home!

So long, Forest Park!

Ten things you should never say to a Black man.

(Disclaimer: When I say Black, I mean those whose ancestors were brought to the USA to be slaves.)

You probably saw it coming since I declared my love and allegiance for my people. There are things I see on television or hear in mixed company that occasionally make me angry. I have especially heard some things during a time when I was the token or "good" Negro. There are some things that some people, not necessarily White, say that they don't know are offensive, but we brothers are offended by them all the same.

Here they are:

1. "Your mother is--"

Unless you are riding a person in the locker room, or on the front porch, or unless you are about to pay a complement, NEVER talk about a Black man's mother. His mother may be sweeter than peach cobbler, or maybe she always gave him the belt or even the 'stention cord, but no one gets a Black man's loyalty more than his mother. Insult her, and a civilized Black man will distance himself from you. A less civilized one will give you a new face, and the worst will bust a cap in your--

2. "Why can't you just pull yourself up by the bootstraps and make something of yourselves? We did, and we made it."

This statement usually comes from a person whose ancestors came from Southern, Central, or Eastern Europe. Some of these same people have a history of discrimination as well. Nevertheless, their oppression was nothing compared to what we experience. In fact, and I may be stepping on toes, but the discrimination these people faced can be equated to college hazing--some suffering a person must experience for a period before they can be accepted into the group. These individuals may have been dark, non-Protestant, and spoke a non-Teutonic language, but they were European and had a potential to become White or at least near-White. In fact, a few people of these groups have committed discrimination, and even hate crimes, to distance themselves from Blacks or to prove how White they are. No matter what a Black man does, he can never be considered anywhere close to White. Because of this, a Black man must work extra hard, be extra moral, and speak extra eloquently in order to get somewhere in America. Frederick O'Neal says it best in the movie Take a Giant Step: "A colored boy must be better than anyone else just to wind up as good as anyone else."

3. "What's up, nigga!"

Unless you are also a Black man, this statement will definitely offend a Black man.  In fact, you may be darker than Wesley Snipes, and some Blacks will still be angered by this statement. The same with any comment pertaining to dark color. It does not matter if you end the word with an a; we will respond the same way as if it ended with an r. There is nothing positive about this word--no matter who says it and why. Just don't say it.

4. "It's okay--My best friend/spouse/neighbor is Black."

This is sometimes related to the third taboo. First, you might or might not be down, but you don't have it like that. Second, how would they feel about what you are saying? Unless they are spineless or content being tokens, they would be just offended as me. You don't have to be down for us to like you. In fact, when you try too hard, you come across as patronizing or even mocking. Just be yourself.

5. "He had to have done something."

This is typically said when a Black man has been beaten or shot by a cop or civilian, but it is very insensitive. Believe it or not, there are racist cops out there who will attack or murder a Black man with little thought, no matter how obliging he may be or how respected he is. Remember how Dr. Henry Louis Gates was arrested and accused of breaking into his own home? This is why all Black men become nervous, even scared, when they are pulled over by cops. They never know if they will be confronted by a good cop or a Klansman in blue. And let's not forget the cop who broke a window over children and tasered a Black man who was not even resisting.

6. "As a Black person, what do you think of…"

Oh, so since I am Black,  I represent all of my people, and we all think the same? This is the no different than saying we look the same. Newsflash: we are individuals, and we have our own beliefs. Believe it or not, there are Black Republicans, Blacks who hate hip hop and soul music, and Blacks who thought Ojay Simpson was guilty. How would you feel if I said, "As a White person…" or "As an Asian person…"?

7. "That's so ghetto."

This comment is more elitist than it is racist. Ironically, celebrities have tried to snuff out the statement , "That's so gay," but "That's so ghetto" is untouched. What makes it so offensive is that it is often said by one who does not know what it is truly like to be so poor that you are forced to live in the slums. They have never been hassled by cops just for walking down the streets. They have never been humiliated enough to be forced to use food stamps. They never have been forced to choose between paying the light bill and paying the rent. They never found thrift store clothes to be a luxury. And, they can take evening walks without having to worry about being robbed, raped, or shot. Typically, they use this phrase to talk about things that are below their standards. The sad fact is, in the 21st Century, Blacks and Latinos are the people who are most likely to live in "ghettoes," so when you call something ghetto, you are latently, unintentional as it may be, stating that Blacks and Latinos are below your standards. So, you heard a Black person use the phrase too? Well, if they grew up in or around depressed urban areas, they have it like that. You don't.

8. "Why are you so sensitive? You are making something out of nothing."

It's nothing to you because you don't go through what we do. Maybe we are so sensitive because the rest of the world is so insensitive. What would happen to you if you sassed a cop? How many interviews does it take for you to get a job? When you do get the job, how confident are you that you had gotten it because of your potential and abilities and not the color of your skin? When do women hold onto their purses when you join them in the elevator? How much do people condemn your anger, as justified as it may be? I was warned once to never lose my temper in front of White people because even justified anger can be used against me in ludicrous ways. If I yell, I am considered a threat. Until you have lived a Black man's life for one week, you will never understand our fears and anxieties. A sociology professor of mine once took all of the White students in the hall and asked them how much money would it take for them to agree to become Black. While one person said, "I'll do it for free," others have asked for millions or billions of dollars, and there were those who said, "Not for all the money in the world." This should tell you something.

9. "You are a man; you have privilege over women."

Hello? Have you been freaking listening? Our being men almost never means anything, and to say this will really work a Black man up. Except for those who are rich, there is not one Black man who has privilege over women--even Black women. All women are more likely to be hired at a job than Black men. They are more likely to be respected, promoted, and supported. They are less likely to be shot by cops, and they can do the exact same crime as a Black man, but they will always get the lighter sentences. The only jobs Black men have privilege over women are those dealing with security or brawn. Besides, how many women, besides Black women, have been kidnapped and brought to this country as slaves or have been subjected to hate crimes? How many hate groups have been created to control and kill women? The fact is, all women have privilege over Black men in this country. Always have, and probably always will.

10. "Why don't you talk/act Black?"

This is often directed towards educated or affluent Black men. While the people who say these things usually don't mean any harm, it is an offensive stereotype that suggests that we are all the same, which brings us back to taboo six. It is very simple: a Black man who wants to get anywhere in America speaks proper English, dresses appropriately, and behaves with self-respect and common sense. While I often use Black expressions, I have no use for Ebonics and filthy language; these are for those who love being ignorant. Plus, it is those who behave the stereotypes who make things difficult for other Blacks. Attaching an ethnicity to a behavior puts everyone in corners, which kills chances for harmony and dialogue.

And now you know. People who know better should do better. 

Conversation with God

A troubled young man has a desperate conversation with God one day.

“Lord,” he says, “If I ask for one thing, surely something a God as omnipotent as You can provide, will You give it to me?”

God answered, “It depends on whether it is good for you and matches My plan for your life.”

“Well,” began the young man, “I was wondering if You could give me a billion dollars.”

“For what purpose would you need this money?” asked God.

“I could use it to help me get so many important things I need in my life.”

“Like what?”

“Well, I could use it to buy a house. A really nice one. With a Bentley in the driveway.”

“My son,” answered God, “You say you need a house and a car, yet you already have them. Are you not grateful for things I have already given you?.”

“All right, never mind those things,” said the man. “But I could use the money for respect.”

“Respect?” teased God. “You can buy respect?”

“Of course,” answered the man. “Everyone knows that money is power. The man with the money has the power and the answers. It’s just like the Golden Rule: ‘Whoever has the gold makes the rules.’”

“Wrong!” reprimanded God. “I make the rules, and the rules anyone else makes must not contradict My 10 ‘Rules’. Besides, the true Golden Rule is this: ‘Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.’ You cannot buy respect, but you can earn it by treating others the way you want to be treated, by serving humanity more than yourself, and by giving more than asking.  This is how you gain respect. Those who think money will buy respect only get fear and false admiration.”

“Okay, I understand,” answered the man. “Now it is time to get serious. I am always lonely, and I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. If I had a billion dollars, I’d have a large host of friends and a wonderful wife. Even if I didn't have the fancy house, the flashy car, and even if some people did not respect me, I could still be happy.”

God looked down on this young man with pity. “My son,” He gently chided, “I understand your pain, truly I do. Nevertheless, there have been multitudes that have, for thousands of years, used money to buy friends and even spouses. These same people, who were the richest of the rich, were often the loneliest of the lonely. The people they thought were friends exploited them for their wealth, yet did not help them in time of need. Think about this: if you gained friends with money, what happens if the money runs out? Will not they, too? A true friend will stay with you whether you are rich or poor. As for a wife, if she is truly wonderful, she will love you and be devoted to you for richer or poorer. She will honor you and stay true to her vows. If a woman only marries you for your money, it will be not be out of love and compatibility but out of convenience and a lust for wealth. Such a godless union would be an abomination to Me.”

The man, knowing he could not debate with God, sighed deeply. “Okay, I see what You mean, Lord. Still, if I have not fully exhausted your patience, I just have one more thing to say.”

“Go ahead,” replied God.

“Here’s the deal,” began the young man. “I live in America. Everything costs money. To eat or have shelter, or even to have running water, it costs money. If I had a billion dollars, I would never have to worry about where my next meal would come from, I would never have to worry about losing my job, having my house foreclosed, and living on the street. If I need medicine or surgery, I would not have to worry about insurance denying me coverage, and even though I can’t live forever, I would have the best medical care there is. I would have a long, carefree life. Is that too much to ask, Lord?”

“’My grace is sufficient for you,’” answered God. You say you want to never have to worry about food or shelter, but I say to you, ‘do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink. Look at the birds of the air. They do not plant or harvest, yet I take care of them, and you are worth more than they.’ You want a long life? Well, I sent My Son to die for your sins so that you could not only have a long life, but an eternal one. Therefore, ‘seek first My Kingdom, and all of these things will be given to you. For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’”

The young man was astonished. “Here I am longing to be rich when I was rich all along. Please forgive me for my thoughtless complaints. Thank You for all You have given me.”

“You are welcome, My son,” answered God. “Go in peace.”

The man went away silently, no longer troubled, but in amazement of the fact that he has more riches than he can count.